you are to respond to two of your peers’ paragraphs in at least 100 words each. Reply to two posts that have yet to be responded to by a classmate.In your reply, respond to all the parts in your peer’s initial post, making sure to explain what you relate to and your judgment about your peer’s experience with conflict.

Classmate 1:

1. My sisterand I often have the most troublesome conflicts. I have social anxietywhere she is very unapologetically loud, and attention craving even ifit is negative attention. We have always argued as children sharing aroom with me being the clean freak and her being the kid who just threweverything to get a rise out of me. Over the last few years, now that weare both adults, arguments consist of feeling betrayed, personalcriticisms or her using my name to get out of trouble. We have alway hadregular disagreements and conflicts but it is the procedural dimensionthat we are very different. She is the kind of person who likes to justignore problems and hope they go away and she never says “I’m sorry”whereas I like to talk things out, express how we are both feeling andtry to find a common ground resolution which usually creates ametaconflict.
2. OfGottman’s “Four Horsemen” I would find stonewalling to be the mostdistressing to me because I like to talk conflicts out and try to findcommon ground and get both parties to understand why the other is upset.But when someone is stonewalling there is a very slim chance of theconflicts actually being resolved because they are emotionally shut downand are unable to have a clear and effective form of communicationwhich could just prolong the disagreement or conflict.
3. A womanwas married to an abusive alcoholic, once she found out she was pregnantagain she told her husband and said she wanted a divorce which angeredhim further into beating her and her son. She had lost all hope andagreed to a plan that would kill her husband and stage his death to looklike an accident or suicide. Their plan went wrong and her husbandended up being beaten shoved into a trunk and the car set on fire. Shewas convicted of murder and her husbands family cut her out of theirlives. She took a 12 week personal growth course and was able to forgiveherself and finally accept what she had done was wrong. She apologizedto her husband’s mother and they have a much better relationship now. Irelated to this story because my family on my father’s side had disownedus (me and my mom and siblings) and I remember how broken up I wasabout it as a child. While I tried to get in touch again they always hadsomething negative to say about me or my mother so I finally decidedthat they did not need to be in my life and that their love for me hasnothing to do with my self worth. It took 23 years for me to forgivethem and accept that they would never be in my life, but I am happierfor it.

Classmate 2 :

1.My most troublesome conflicts have been between my brother and me. Heand I are very opposite politically and religiously which has made formany disagreements. At family gatherings, I try to stay neutral though Ithink the worst part is he and my husband do not get along at all, andmy husband I more outspoken than I am. The most recent conflict wasbecause he said that women should be “submissive” to their husbands. Myhusband and I in contrast believe that husband and wife are equal andshould make decisions as a team. I think sometimes that he says thesethings to annoy me.

2.I think stonewalling is the most distressing of the “Four Horseman”. Iam not proud to say that when I was in my early teens, I wouldstonewall my mother. It makes me cringe now, I have a good relationshipwith my mother now, and I cannot imagine stonewalling her now. WheneverMy husband and I have an issue we talk it out no matter howuncomfortable it is. I would make it so hard if he ever started tostonewall me or if anybody else close to me did this.

3.Lorenn Walker was on vacation with her sister in Waikiki Hawaii.Lorenn thought that she was going to have fun with her sister, but hertrip took a violent turn. After a night of drinking Lorenn goes out theback door where a man attacks her. After the attack, Lorenn had a hardtime not blaming herself for the man attacking her. She thought aboutwhy she drank that night and why she went out the back door rather thanthe front. I can relate to this story in a way because I had suffered aviolent attack in my life some years back. I had a hard time coming toterms that it did indeed happen to me and not some other person whohappened to live my body. Lorenn was not able to prosecute her attackerso she started a nonprofit organization that offers programs to helpimprove the justice system by giving individuals the opportunity toengage in civic processes to address healing and reconciliation whensocial injustice and wrongdoing occurs.